Tomer, 23, grew up in Kibbutz Kisufim near the Gaza border in Israel, surrounded by the warmth of family and community. The collective farm, with its lush avocado orchards, was more than just a place to live—it was home. The members of the kibbutz and Tomer’s parents, Etay and Etty, instilled in her the values of kindness, generosity and a deep sense of community, which shaped her upbringing.

In Tomer’s retelling, Etay, a dedicated farmer and a constant presence in Tomer's life, is known for his humor and devotion to his family, always there to support and uplift those around him. Etty is the heart of their home, her vibrant Moroccan cooking filling the house with warmth and flavor, and her nurturing spirit extended to the children she taught at the kibbutz school. Sagi, Tomer says is now 15 since his birthday was last November 1. He is the light of the family, beloved by all for his charisma and mature demeanor. Known affectionately as “Sagi the Man,” he shares a special bond with Tomer. Their Oct. 4, 2023 trip to a Bruno Mars concert stands out as one of her happiest memories before her world was shattered.

Just three days later, Tomer and her older brother Adar waited anxiously as word spread that Hamas terrorists had attacked across southern Israel. Tomer and Adar were away at the time, and it was through a series of frantic, chaotic calls that they learned something was terribly wrong. The final call from their mother, who whispered about the gunfire behind their house, was the last time they heard her voice. The following day was filled with an agonizing wait for news, only to be met with the worst possible outcome—confirmation that Etay, Etty, Sagi and the family dog Sokka had been murdered.

Thanks to support long before the attack from the Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh and Federations across North America, our international partners were there to help immediately. Tomer and Adar received money from the Jewish Agency for Israel's Victims of Terror (VOT) Fund. The VOT Fund provides immediate financial assistance to individuals and families in Israel affected by terrorism to help with urgent needs and recovery. The fund is just one of a wide array of services ranging from volunteers to pick abandoned crops, like the Kisufim avocados; to services for displaced kibbutz survivors, like the community of Kisufim, who all still live in a hotel near the Dead Sea ten months later.

In the face of this profound loss, Tomer decided to go through with her plans to travel to the U.S. to work at Emma Kaufmann Camp (EKC), a dream she had previously shared with her parents. There, amid the stark contrast between the peace of the camp and the turmoil in Israel, she found a way to honor her family. Tomer and her lifelong friend created the “butterfly project,” an art project in which kids create papier-mâché, painted butterflies honoring the people lost on October 7. In Israel, the butterfly symbolizes the spirit and soul. The butterflies Tomer created are a way of keeping her loved ones’ spirits alive and surrounding her always.

Jewish Federation supports EKC through our core partner agency the Jewish Community Center of Greater Pittsburgh—one of dozens of ways your support touches the lives of those affected by the October 7 attack. Tomer said she is deeply grateful for the experience:

“I tried to find balance, and I feel like I really found it at camp. I came to do art… I’m really happy that camp gave me that experience.”

Tomer’s story is one of love, loss and resilience. It’s all part of the Federation’s vision of a flourishing Jewish community where everyone feels included, supported and inspired. With the help of the Jewish Federation’s community support even in the darkest times, Tomer’s commitment to the values instilled in her by her parents—kindness, family and spreading love—clearly shines through.